The Real Reason You're Feeling Unmotivated To Workout Everyday
Did you fall off the fitness wagon and have absolutely no motivation but you just can’t seem to get yourself back on track?
You try to get up early to go to the gym but then find every excuse not to exercise or show up.
Then those excuses are compounded by other life stressors like financial difficulties, relationship issues, intense ups and downs at work, etc.
Sound familiar?
When this happens most people ask themselves:
"How can I get out of this rut?!"
“Why am I unmotivated to work out?”
"Why can't I get myself back to the gym!"
If in your brain, you *know* what you should be doing but you have trouble translating that into action.. (this blog post is for you!)
Most of my clients working on a weight loss goal think that having motivation is the best way to go about being more consistent at the gym but the 24/7 motivation myth is misguided and harmful.
And it’s not like this thought comes from nowhere,
Each year on January 1st, everybody and their mama is claiming “New Year, new me!” and how “Now is the time to reset and get in shape”.
But there are 3 major patterns and realities actually impacting motivation that needs to be addressed.
REALITY #1: Your Mindset is off
One of my favorite black therapists’ Dr. Thema, addresses motivation from a mental health lens. She invites us to ask:
“What are the issues that have contributed to your lack of motivation or your loss of motivation?”
She posited that if we try to address motivation without addressing the other side then our efforts will be incomplete.
In other words, we have to address the factors that are actually draining us and disconnecting us from our motivation.
Dr.Thema argues that lack of motivation can in fact be a Mental Health challenge that we’ve mislabeled. She provides some examples that I see crossing over into the fitness realm like:
Clinical depression - which can cause a loss of energy and/or loss of pleasure. Back in 2019 I got a message in my dm’s “haven’t seen you on my timeline in a while so making sure you’re good and still blessed!” The truth was I thought, I was OKAY until...
I couldn’t: get out of bed. Brush my hair. Go to work. Meal prep. Shower. Sleep. “You're just having a bad week ... “ I thought to myself. 🗣BRUSH IT OFF, GIRL! You can get out of this hole by yourself.” Depression my therapist said. 🗣I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN! (I kept saying to myself) Turns out, I couldn’t. It got worse. Until I finally started to address what was causing my mental health challenges - my underlying depression. So, if you have been diagnosed or are feeling an extreme loss of energy or joy and think it might be something deeper, instead of just saying “I need to get up and do Xyz” - it may be a case of “I really need to address my depression” with a licensed Therapist or another mental health professional.
Fear - Some people feel intimidated by what successful weight loss may mean for their life. Fear of success can sound like “If I actually lose 20lbs, how will people treat me differently?” or “When I was at a healthier weight people would notice me more”. The fear may cause us to procrastinate, not try our best, or not feel committed because we question our own worthiness and readiness. If this is the case, you’ll have to address those fears and distorted cognitions about your own worth in order to allow yourself to stop punishing yourself and holding yourself back, to believing that you are worthy to live the life that you are living. & not just fear of success but also the fear of failure. Fear of failure may sound like this: “I’m afraid that I won’t succeed - if I never try then I never have to find out”. We can always hide behind - “well I didn’t really try my best “- “well I didn’t really go after it so I don’t have to deal with the devastation of disappointment.” What Dr. Thema offers is that failure is not the end of the world. & failure can also be a learning opportunity so that the next time you try it, you try it with your new wisdom, with your lessons learned and you try it with your new goal. As you engage with the process you’ll learn about yourself. You’ll learn about what you’re trying to, trying to accomplish and you will get closer to the mark.
Pure exhaustion: confusing exhaustion with “laziness”. For example:
A) maybe you just worked 12 hr shift and then are trying to force yourself to work out once you get home.
B) Or you’re a mom with a full-time job, on the go by 5:30 am when you wake up in the morning until 9 pm when you get home and you just crash.
C) You’re just busy period and have barely slept, so you’re f*cking exhausted and feel like you’re running on empty all day long.
Now, The definition of lazy in the dictionary is: unwilling to work or use energy.
Lazy doesn’t apply (to most people who tell me they’re “lazy”) because many women are doing the damn MOST in every other aspect of their lives. The real issue is we have trouble, not over-extending ourselves (sometimes at work but often even in our personal lives) where we continue to not pour into our own cups. Which leads to not being physically able to keep promises to ourselves because we’re doing too much. Not being able to vs not being willing are 2 different things.
You have an all-or-nothing mentality: Last but not least, all-or-nothing thinking is a symptom of perfectionism 👀. Maybe you’re the type of person who gets discouraged from not seeing a “quick” difference when you start undertaking a new habit. Or you’re prone to extreme thinking that sounds like “once I mess up or skip one day I just give up for the rest of the week”
^^ If any of the examples above sound familiar the 2 main question(s) I want you to ask yourself before proclaiming that you just don’t have motivation are:
What are the deeper reasons causing my lack of motivation that I’m failing to address?
How are my unrealistic expectations (i.e. Neglecting self-care, trying to operate from less than 100%) creating self-sabotage and leading me down a road of a negative self-fulfilling prophecy?
I’m Ready to Stay Motivated:
Reason #2: Not changing your environment
Thinking motivation is enough but not changing your environment is like an alcoholic trying to stop drinking but hanging out at a bar - it’s counterproductive.
It’s difficult for a person to consistently stick to a positive habit in a negative environment.
& motivation won’t cut it if your environment is in conflict with your goals.
The single biggest change that’ll make a new habit easier is performing it in an environment that is designed to make that habit succeed.
In the book, Willpower Doesn’t Work author Benjamin Hardy discusses how your environment shapes you and how many people’s environments often oppose their goals. His main argument is that we adapt to our environments. So, conscious personal evolution involves purposefully controlling and creating environments that shape us into the person we want to become.
Aka: You need new people!
Building an environment that promotes good habits is the next step in maintaining motivation. We want to join environments where people are consistently practicing the habit you’re struggling with. An environment where fitness is the norm - not the exception.
“ Some of you have been trying to fight to be motivated because you keep talking to people who discourage you.” - Dr. Thema
Our community reinforces our actions. So, when you change your environment – like surrounding yourself with different people, your thoughts and emotions change. These inner changes then alter your values and aspirations, which requires you to further alter your external environment.
When we hear people sharing in our circle sharing challenges, limitations, difficulties, problems, setbacks, and how they recovered - it helps us learn. It can also give us grace and compassion for your journey.
So now, motivation becomes less about a random feeling that you have on January 1st (or every other Monday) and more about positive social support and creating conditions that make your success inevitable. New information, new relationships, and new experiences are how you change.
You must gather and plant the right seeds from your environment to make a bounteous garden of your life.
Reason #3 You Haven't Determined Your Readiness For Change
When I became a personal trainer, I learned about the stages of change and how every single person is at a different level.
Some people reach out to me asking for help but they’re not actually ready to change — yet.
There’s no judgment in that, but for you to be able to stay motivated in your journey you're going to need to decipher which stage you're currently in.
Although everyone thinks they're ready to get fit that doesn't mean they actually are. This is what we in the fitness industry call the trans-theoretical model of behavior change or your readiness to change.
For example, if a person isn't ready to make a change (regardless of how passionate they are about it) it will not stick.
You should know which stage you’re in and also be aware that we can all (regardless of which stage we're currently in) relapse and reenter any stage at any time.
Let me break this down for you a little bit further.
There are 5 different stages that a person can be in:
Pre-contemplation (not ready)
Contemplation (getting ready)
Preparation (ready)
Action
Maintenance
Each stage is very different:
Pre-contemplators: are often characterized as resistant, unmotivated, or unready for help. People in this stage don't intend to take action in the foreseeable future, usually measured as the next six months. Being uninformed or under-informed about the consequences of one’s behavior may cause a person to be in this first stage.
Contemplation: intend to change in the next six months. They are more aware of the pros of changing but are also acutely aware of the cons. AKA behavioral procrastinators.
Preparation: intend to take action in the immediate future. Typically, they have already taken some significant action in the past year. These people have a plan of action, like going to a gym, talking to their physician, or hiring a coach.
Action: have made specific overt modifications in their lifestyles.
Maintenance: have made specific overt modifications in their lifestyles and are working to prevent relapse; While in the Maintenance stage, people are less tempted to relapse and grow increasingly more confident that they can continue their changes.
In other words, there are levels to this sh*t!
There are a lot of things you shouldn’t be in the middle of when you’re trying to start your fitness journey (i.e. moving to a new state, apartment, starting a new job, etc.)
Why? Because you need to be in a stable place to make a change. Your mindset needs to be on the same level as your body. (re: reality #1)
Stages of change
If you don't know what stage of change you're in, you'll start to create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The cycle goes a little something like this = you've been thinking about it, then you get a shot of motivation and decide to sign up for the gym, you stick to it for like 3 weeks but make no gains, and/or you see no visible changes.
This makes you feel discouraged and then you end up slowly working out less, stop showing up to the gym and lose motivation completely then you repeat this cycle....for YEARS.
If you’re ready to change & see a difference in your life you need to remember that oftentimes we are looking for motivation (for that feeling) but the truth is that motivation comes after action, not the other way around.
A lot of women look at me and assume “you’re a personal trainer, you must be motivated every day.”
Listen, 50% of the time I'm at the gym I don't want to be there.
Seriously.
There are 73452 things I would rather be doing most of the time like sleeping ( I work out at 6 am) going out, online shopping, etc.
But guess what?
My, mindset & the environment I’ve created for myself keeps me consistent - even when I’m not motivated.
After you’ve decided you’re ready to truly make a change you must decide that you’re going to show up and show out.